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Key Takeaways
- Cocktail attire for women means a knee-length, tea-length, or midi dress, or a tailored jumpsuit with formal shoes.
- Men should wear a suit and tie, with darker colors for evening or cooler months and lighter hues for daytime.
- Avoid anything too casual or revealing, like jeans, mini skirts, or sandals, to show respect for the occasion.
When it comes to someone’s big day, it can be difficult to know what to wear. Should you opt for a floor-length gown? Or would a shorter dress be more appropriate? These questions are at the front of your mind as you prepare to attend the nuptials. Luckily, wedding dress codes help clarify the type and style of clothing you should be selecting. Cocktail attire is one of the most popular options, striking a balance between formal and casual, as well as elegant and comfortable. While you may be prepared to take out your full-length gown, that won’t be necessary with this type of dress code. Think somewhere between a sophisticated formal occasion and office or party wear, says Alena Kate Pettitt, the author of English Etiquette: The Motivation Behind the Manners. For an event with this dress code, men typically wear a suit and tie while women wear a cocktail dress.
Still, with so much ambiguity, cocktail attire can mean different things depending on the venue, the time of day, and the season. If you’re still not sure what to wear to a wedding with this dress code, we asked a few etiquette experts to share their tried-and-true tips.
Photo by Sasithon Photography
Cocktail Wedding Attire for Women
“The most important idea to take away from the cocktail dress code is that your goal is to create an elegant look wearing a knee-length, tea-length, or midi dress,” says María Lucrecia Argüello, a social etiquette advisor. “This is not the time to wear a gala gown or a short mini skirt.”
If you’re attending a daytime celebration, opt for natural colors and fresh styles. In the evening, feel free to utilize darker hues and embellishments, such as sequins or feathers (so long as your dress doesn’t sweep the floor). Remember: The goal is to look polished and dressy, but not so much so that you take away from the bride. When in doubt, your best little black dress, a pair of heels or dressy flats, some nice earrings, and a clutch will always work for a cocktail event, no matter the venue or time of day. In addition to a traditional cocktail dress, women can also wear a nice suit or jumpsuit with heels or formal flats.
There’s no rule that says you can only wear a short dress to a wedding with a cocktail-attire dress code. That said, if you do opt for a longer ensemble, ensure it’s in a less formal fabric so as to not appear overdressed.
Photo by Olivia Marshall
Cocktail Wedding Attire for Men
For the men, all experts agree: A suit and tie are required for cocktail attire. Go with darker hues in chillier months or for evening events, but feel free to wear lighter grays or blues in warmer weather or for daytime celebrations. As for shoes, select a nice pair of dark dress shoes that match your belt.
Even if the wedding will be held at a more relaxed venue (such as a beach, barn, or vineyard), a jacket and tie are still a must for men if there’s a cocktail dress code in place. During the formalities, the jacket and tie need to remain on, advises Pettitt. “The only acceptable time to remove your jacket and tie is after the formalities have ended and the sun has gone down and/or the groom or senior male attendants have removed theirs.” Traditionally, this means the jacket needs to stay on during dinner, but feel free to scan the crowd, and if others are shrugging out of them before sitting for the first course, it’s fine to do so as well.
Cocktail Wedding Attire Etiquette
While a cocktail dress code isn’t as strict as white- or black-tie, it’s not an invitation to wear anything you’d like. The hosts are expecting you to dress up for the occasion, and this should be reflected in your outfit. Anything too tight, short, or revealing is a big “no,” as well as jeans, ripped clothing, shorts, and sandals (for men). “Having made an effort shows regard for the event and creates a jovial collective mood for all those who attend,” says Pettitt. “Adhering to the dress code is not only polite, but it will help you feel at ease in your surroundings.” If you’re still at a loss, feel free to reach out to the mother of the bride or the maid of honor (just not the couple!) for further clarification to ensure you look and feel your best. The venue will also give you a clue as to how strict you need to be with your attire. For example, a more laid-back ceremony at a vineyard will be slightly less formal than a celebration at a private club.
